No two. Only one.

(Photo credit: Sangeeta Mahajan. Sunrise on the Nilgiris. Oct 2026)

Today has been the day of dragonflies, hundreds of them swooping down the hill, past me as I sit on my balcony gazing at the gorgeous blue mountains of South India in the gentle afternoon sun. I am at an Ayurvedic centre (Indian traditional medicine) situated in the most scenic part of Tamil Nadu, known to be inhabited since prehistoric times. I am here, resetting my system, reminding myself what a healthy daily routine looks like and in the process getting looked after with daily massages and freshly cooked meals.

Being here at present is serene, soulful, safe and sacred. Holding myself and my body with love and honour. Returning to myself afresh. Being still and silent. Smiling on the inside, singing on the outside. Who would’ve thought this possible, even for the briefest moment. Yes, tomorrow I might turn into a puddle on the floor but right now, I am okay and that is a blessing.

Every week we chant ancient Sanskrit mantras. This week we chanted a set of verses written by an eighth century sage, philosopher and teacher of Non-duality, Adi Shankara. When asked by a young boy, who are you? He responded:

“Neither am I the Mind, nor the Intelligence or Ego,
Neither am I the Ears, nor the Tongue, eyes or Nose,

Neither am I the Sky, nor the Earth, Neither the Fire nor the Air,
I am Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I the Breath, nor the Five Vital elements,
Neither am I the Body, nor its Five Sheaths,
Neither am I the organ of Speech, nor the Hands, nor Feet,

I am Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I Hatred, nor Attachment, Neither Greed nor Infatuation,
Neither am I Pride, nor of Envy and Jealousy,
I am Not within the bounds of Righteousness, Wealth, Desire nor Liberation,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I bound by Merits nor Sins, neither by Joys nor Sorrows,
Neither am I bound by Sacred Hymns or Places, Scriptures or Sacrifices

I am neither Enjoyment, nor an object to be Enjoyed, nor the Enjoyer,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.

Neither am I bound by Death and its Fear, nor by the rules of Caste and denominations,
Neither do I have Father and Mother, nor do I have Birth,
Neither do I have Relations nor Friends, neither Spiritual Teacher nor Disciple,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.

I am without any Form or Variations,
I am Present Everywhere as the underlying Substratum of everything,
Neither do I get attached to anything, nor get freed from anything,
I am the Ever-Pure Blissful Consciousness.”

The meaning of these verses is not yet fully clear to me but it is comforting to know that you and I share our Being as the one and only one blissful consciousness. So, if there is One and only One, then could there be any space for separation. Could this felt sense of separation be a mere illusion? I wonder.

Resource: The essence of Non-duality: https://rupertspira.com/

Fresh off the boat

Posted by kidsaregifts20

Twenty-two years ago, when I first landed in the UK, I arrived as a qualified anaesthetist. I didn’t think of myself as a ‘female doctor’. I did not classify myself as one from the ‘ethnic minorities’. Both of those things were incidental to the fact that there was a job to be done and I could do it well, even if it was in a completely different setting, four and a half thousand miles away from home, at Antrim Area Hospital, Antrim, Northern Ireland. I was nervous but being from an army family, I was accustomed to moving every couple of years from one state of India to another (states as different as Punjab and Bengal), making it my own, learning from a different way of life and moving on to the next. I was sure of my ability to adapt.

My belongings comprised of a family photograph in a silver frame, a suitcase, mostly filled with books and two hundred pounds in cash. From the window of the plane I could see forty shades of green, in a mesmerising patchwork across the fields and hills of Ireland. The sky was the deepest, most startling blue. My heart was up in my throat with the excitement of living and working in a country where everyone was educated (why wouldn’t they be if education was free?) and well-mannered (why wouldn’t they be if everyone was well looked after by the Government?)

One of the secretaries from the Antrim Area Hospital, Mary, very kindly came to receive me at the airport. The drive from Aldergrove Airport to the hospital was like gliding through a picture postcard. After Delhi, I could fully appreciate the wide golden-green expanses gleaming in the sunshine with not one human being in sight. When I complemented Mary on how gorgeous her country was, she was perplexed, “Really?”

Saagar was 5 years old then. He had stayed back with his dad. My plan was to find my feet and have him join me as soon as possible. I wanted to get my post-graduate exams within one or two years and go back to work in India. In the next few months, as I settled into my job, I acquired a cheap second hand Renault 19, found a family home and an appropriate child-minder. In the tea room of the hospital, the nurses would tell me about their families and ask me about mine. When I told them that I had a 5 years old child back home, they would say, “How could you leave him there?” I didn’t know what to say to that.

I still don’t.

Lashings of Time.

Posted by kidsaregifts20

What do I say to the lone black eye-lash on my cheek?

I say bring me the colours of the rainbow

The pot of gold and all

Bring me the joys of the seasons,

Most of all, the fall.

The Autumn comes,

Once again

The yellows, auburns and ochres divine.

Hidden daggers behind their cloaks

They drop

When I open these arms of mine.

Its in their eyes

The fear of stabbings of memory

The tears of the sea.

Let it go.

Let it rest.

Let it be.

All that matters is here in me.

In the green apple and the oak tree.

I have and hold the world

that was, is and will be

in the blackness of my lashes

till eternity.

We are one my love. You and me.

I feared I would forget

I wrote it all down

I panicked I’d lost you

Never again to be found

But you are here

In every word, smile, tear.

I didn’t think I could bear it

But I did and I do.

This thorn has made a home in my heart.

I do not die.

I breathe through.

Its a great surprise

To rise

each day

To the umbrellas and shoes of life

As if nothing ever changed.

But all is new.

Me and you are sweethearts.

Inseparable.

One is the sand. The other, sea.

One is the hand. The other, lines of destiny.

Dear Beloved,

I place my pettiness at your feet.

The sense of separation,

The sad longing born of it,

The seeming disappointments,

Imperfections and regrets too,

I offer them all

To you.