the now

Day 618

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Brexit : Nearly every conversation for the past few days has been about this topic. I have had to look beyond the arguments from both sides and go by what I have learnt so far. Politics is not my forte but it is an ugly reflection of life and cannot be ignored.

Till the very last hour before voting I was unsure but then suddenly it was clear. Any venture started without firstly, a plan and secondly, good leadership is bound to not work. For me, UK leaving the EU is exactly like that. No plan. No leadership. So, the choice was clear.

After the people’s decision from yesterday, these lyrics written by Pink Floyd at the time of the fall of The Berlin Wall seem most appropriate:

“A Great Day For Freedom”

On the day the wall came down
They threw the locks onto the ground
And with glasses high we raised a cry for freedom had arrived
On the day the wall came down
The Ship of Fools had finally ran aground
Promises lit up the night like paper doves in flight

I dreamed you had left my side
No warmth, not even pride remained
And even though you needed me
It was clear that I could not do a thing for you

Now life devalues day by day
As friends and neighbors turn away
And there’s a change that, even with regret, cannot be undone
Now frontiers shift like desert sands
While nations wash their bloodied hands
Of loyalty, of history, in shades of grey

I woke to the sound of drums
The music played, the morning sun streamed in
I turned and I looked at you
And all but the bitter residues slipped away…slipped away.

 

Day 617

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Of late I am being introduced to a whole new vocabulary – Pallof hold, farmer’s walk, goblet squats, dead-walk, dead-bug, burpies, dead-lifts and bench presses. A whole new world of weird and wonderful movements designed to improve core strength and what not. In the gym environment where most people are doing similar stuff, I robotically follow instructions to precision. It’s only a day later that I discover places in my body that I didn’t know existed.

It’s not pleasant. The simplest of movements like getting in and out of the car can be painfully uncomfortable. Yet, I feel good and a couple of days later, go back for more. My instructor is a lovely young man who often reminds me of Saagar. He has a very self-deprecating sense of humour and he does make me laugh.

If half an hour of moderate exercise could be packed into a little pill, it would be the best supplement of all. The physical benefits of exercise are well known but it’s effect on the mind is intriguing. I find it to be stimulating and relaxing at the same time. I feel better on days that start with a session of exercise. I sleep better too. Even though everything aches, I feel more energetic.

While it is hard work, its good. 

 

 

 

 

Day 616

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S Bench 2

The lush green school grounds, the theatre, the officious but friendly teachers, the man-boy students, the flowing laughter, the drinks and nibbles, the chatty parents, the Design show at Saagar’s school.

We were invited. We were there to see Saagar’s memorial bench holding pride of place. The show-stopper!

The highly talented and very sweet young man T, who made it was there too with his family. We met them for the first time. His mother said that he had worked really hard on this project as he felt honoured to be asked to do it. He was apprehensive about meeting me but thereafter he relaxed and enjoyed doing it.

A few years ago Saagar studied Design and Technology(D&T) for his GCSEs. He loved it. One day he sat down to discuss his project with me. He asked me what kind of a jewelry stand I would like – the rough shape and size of it and other requirements it should fulfil. He made me a beautiful jewelry stand for my trinkets – with mirrors, rods for necklaces, little pots for finger-rings and ear-rings and smaller pots for safety pins and hair pins. He paid attention to every detail. The stand took centre stage on my dressing table from the day it entered the house.

I hope he appreciates the lime-green legs on his bench. That’s me returning the favour, if at all possible.

 

 

Day 613

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Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,

even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

–Max Ehrman

Day 603

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Historically and mythologically, India has a named God for every force of nature – the sun, moon, stars, rain, wind, you name it… After a long exasperating summer, rain is much desired and romanticised as it brings relief, cools things down, settles the heat and dust. It is good for crops and cattle. It is refreshing and life giving and most welcome. Indian classical music has ragas (sets of musical notes) dedicated to invite and celebrate the rainy season. Miyan Tansen, one of the most accomplished musicians of his time (1506-1589 AD) is famous for being able to beckon the rains by singing Raga Megh Malhar. No Bollywood film is complete without a sing-song in the rain.

The sun on the other hand was quite terrifying. Sunglasses, head scarves, shady trees and umbrellas were life saving! Going out in the sun was avoided if at all avoidable except for a few weeks in winter months when the sun was mild. When Saagar entered our house in the UK for the first time, he immediately commented on the absence of ceiling fans. Until I moved to the UK I never quite understood the meaning of the phrase ‘you are the sunshine of my life’. I still cannot get myself to complain about the rain. I love it.

While out on a walk this afternoon, we got caught in a proper heavy shower. After a long time I found myself out in the open getting gently rinsed and rejuvinated by Mother Nature’s playful energy. It was so wonderful! I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face for quite a while. The heavenly fragrance of the newly disturbed earth wafted up and filled all my senses with nostalgia. I remembered the time when Saagar was little and we lived in Delhi, the moment it started raining we would run up to the terrace, dance and sing and splash about! It was heavenly!

Whether India or UK, rain is just rain and sun is just sun.
All else is in the interpretation.