Day 642

What makes a good life?

An answer to this age-old question was attempted by a huge study at Harvard. It followed 724 men from their teenage years for a period of 75 years. Half the men were students at Harvard and the other half were disadvantaged inner city boys of Boston. They all went on to pursue various fields of work – brick-layers, teachers, solicitors and one even became the president of America. Every year, each one of them answered a paper questionnaire and was interviewed in person. Bloods tests and brain scans were performed on them and a large body of data was collected and analysed.

What did they find?

Loneliness is toxic. Loneliness kills.
The way to health and happiness is through good relationships.
Cholesterol level is not a predictor of good health but the quality of one’s social connections is.
Good relationships protect the brain too. People who have friends and relatives they can count on retain their memory for much longer than the ones that don’t.
So, while relationships can be messy, difficult and trying, they are worth leaning into, be it with family, friends or a community.

How can this be done in real terms?

  • Replacing screen time with people time?
  • Doing something new – going for a long walk, gardening, volunteering, watching a black and white film, trying a new recipe?
  • Calling an old friend you’ve been thinking of for a while?
  • Putting a grudge or mistrust aside and reaching out?
  • You know best.

“There isn’t time for bickering, apologies, heart burnings, calling to account. There’s only time for loving. An instant for that.” – Mark Twain.

Good life = Good relationships.

 

Day 640

 

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In 1960 Roald Dahl’s son Theo developed hydrocephalus (fluid collection in the brain) following a road accident. He needed repeated surgeries to drain the fluid through a thin tube (shunt) away from his brain. The problem was that the shunts repeatedly got blocked.

Dahl knew Stanley Wade, an expert in precision hydraulic engineering from their shared hobby of flying model aircrafts. In 1960 a team formed by Wade, neurosurgeon Kenneth Till and Dahl invented a new valve with a negligible risk of blockage. By the time the device was perfected, Theo had healed to the point at which it was not necessary for him. However, several thousand other children around the world benefited from the WDT valve before medical technology progressed beyond it.

His daughter Olivia died of measles at the age of seven in 1962. Her death destroyed him. Many years later he spoke of his lack of fear of death, “If Olivia can do it, so can I.”

Roald Dahl believed in taking practical steps to improve the lives of those around him. He generously gave his time and money to help seriously ill children and their families, including many he never met. Roald Dahl’s Marvellous Children’s Charity helps to make life better for seriously ill children and young people in the UK.

The charity believes that every child has the right to a more marvellous life, no matter how ill they are, or short their life may be. They focus upon helping those who have the biggest needs, and who aren’t being fully supported by anybody else. This might be because they have a serious rare condition, be living in poverty, or not have any family at all.

2016 marks 100 years since the birth of Roald Dahl, an extraordinary storyteller, a pilot, a spy, an inventor and most of all, a father.

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Day 639

Whatever I want to say is completely ruined by my words. They get in the way, contort and distort, exaggerate and understate, twist and convolute my message.

I wish to be released from myself so I can truly see me for who I am.
I wish to shatter the notions I have of myself, the attachments I have to aspects of myself and all the layers of ‘stuff’ artificially slathered on me.
I wish to know my purest, cleanest, most translucent version.

Would it be so flimsy as to be nearly imperceptible?
Would it be formless, weightless and invisible?
Would it be nothing?
Possibly.
That could mean freedom.
The hope for liberation lies in nothingness.

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Day 638

yello arum lilies

 

Just a routine commute back home from work.
Rucksacks on Si and me.
And a thick layer of fatigue.

The Bustimes App said 6 minutes.
The double decker arrived in 4.
We beeped in following the 14 odd people before.

They spead out on the top floor.
Each one by a window.
Just one last vacant pair of seats to go.

I slide past him to get to the window seat.
An unsaid rule that we repeat.
He sits down beside me and we happen to look down at our feet.
The sight is that of an unusual wonderfulness.
A paper bag full of sunny yellow soft beautifulness.

We look closely at multiple tapering funnels unfurl.
Many a bright green stem
Unfold into an elegant yellow curl.

I pick out of the bag as I reach.
Four bundles, a dozen each.
For us! It’s hard to believe.
Yellow arum lilies someone did leave.

Wonder what their story was.
Who were they meant for?
Where were they headed? Was someone to be wedded?

Well, they came home with us.
They seem happy enough.
Looking pretty and shining their light.
Just what Saagar would have liked.

Day 637

South London and Maudsley (SLaM) NHS Foundation Trust is where Saagar was treated. This morning I visited their website and looked at a few videos and one titled “Insulin Coma Dreams: The Gloriously Psychotic version” captured my attention. It shows glimpses of healing through sharing stories, art, singing, playing the drums and guitar, poetry and rapping. It is full of hope. One young lady spoke the wisest words coming from her own experience of mental illness (most probably Bipolar Disorder):

“You need to stop focusing on lack
If you wish to reclaim your power back
You are a glorious co-creator
You have the power to design a will
So what you are experiencing
You have the key to change it still
If at times it feels as though
You are not the one in control
This is just a reflection of
Disconnection from the soul
Your inner being is pure love
And it speaks and thinks as such
So when your thoughts are not of love
It just means you need to get in touch
The love that you are
That at times you forget
It is that simple love
That’s your biggest asset
So when things are scary
You feel pain or angst or stress
Just remember who you really are
And know that you are the best.”